REBUILD (WEEK 2)
DAY 11: SELF REFLECTION
On Day 11 of your workbook, have fun filling in the blanks to find out more about how your brain works and what you can do to balance it out.
DAY 11 MICRO-SCIENCE
Self Verification Theory
We all see the world through our own filters, based on previous experiences. This creates a distorted leans through which we see ourselves and the world around us. The brain loves consistency and once you have developed a certain way of seeing yourself, your brain gets pretty pissed off if you allow information in that contradicts that previously held belief. For instance, if a child was told they were a “bad student” and that image was reinforced by their parents, coaches, or teachers, then suddenly in the 8th grade the kid gets an “A” in Science class, the child will automatically feel uncomfortable as this does not fit nicely into their current concept of themselves. In this way, many people become imprisoned in a cell of other’s expectations which they then self-reinforce in their own lives causing a downward or upward spiral that dictates their future.
- FACT: Married women who have self reported negative views of themselves will stay in negative relationships longer if their partners also have negative views of them. If their partners view them positively, they are more likely to leave the negative relationship.
- TAKEAWAY: People innately want to confirm their already held beliefs about themselves. This makes their brains do less work, so people will continue to look for “consistent” information about themselves, even if that information is negative.
DAY 11 MEDITATION
Negativity Bias
Sometimes it might feel like your brain doesn’t like you, but in reality it’s just trying to protect you. Your mind may fill up daily with negative thoughts giving you reasons why you won’t succeed. Don’t blame your brain, however, that’s just evolution playing “debbie downer” with your life. Turns out everyone’s brain is programmed to look on the dark side and we have to teach it to see the silver lining.
- FACT: Two thirds of the neurons in your amygdala (where all information passes through before going to your thinking brain) are primed to see negative stimuli.
- TAKEAWAY: Evolution has dictated that if a tiger and a berry bush are both in front of you, it’s more advantageous to your survival to see the tiger first. Therefore, because our brains still run off the paradigm that it’s “better safe than sorry,” we will always see the problems and potential threats before we see the opportunities.
DAY 11 MEDITATION
Today’s meditation is to write down five “negative” experiences you have had in your life. Then set a timer for five minutes and think about each one of those experiences and what you have learned from going through them. Take about a minute for each experience.
DAY 11 MOVEMENT
Realistic Expectations
As humans we are programmed to compare ourselves to others. Oftentimes, we compare ours lives to the people we see in the movies or the “airbrushed” lives on Instagram. Because that information is so accessible to us we accept it as fact and try to align our lives with what we think is “normal.” This causes our brain tremendous anxiety as we “rank” ourselves within the “hierarchy” around us and find ourselves falling short. Therefore, to counteract this tendency it’s important to set our sights on achievable goals not the ones society or media tell us to.
- FACT: Married couples that have realistic expectations of their partners stayed married the longest
- TAKEAWAY: Movies can really screw up our expectations and misguided messages can effect our quality of life. Relationships (and life) are messy and if you go in with that expectation, life and you get along much better.
DAY 11 MOVEMENT
Today’s assignment is pretty simple, just set these three realistic goals for your day.
1) Get through it alive (as this wasn’t so easy for our ancestors)
2) Be ok today, not “happy”
3) Expect problems to arise (don’t hope for the absence of problems), because they will come